Hey!!!: 7th Life - Grey Boy
Hey!!! (7th Life, Grey Boy) Date: 10th May 2006 (My Favourite Smoking Day) Emotions,
Vivid and clear,
Delivering vulnerable touches,
So near yet distance,
My journey don't end at spoken words,
It takes time.
Hey!!!
Sun shines, rain pouring
For a reason
For thoughts that matter
For treason
Hey!!!
Throughout the years
Dumbness equals numbness,
Never ask God for anything,
For the thoughts that count,
Not merely words that fade. Not words that fade
Emotions,
One day senseless and motionless,
My mind will continue ticking,
Creating peace and comfort,
Creating surety and concern for you,
My path is not bloated by desires for all things great,
For,
You are the greatest being ever come to my life.
Hey!!!
My ability's not to possess you,
But require,
All substance and deep faith I have with your existence
When I hold love, my hands leaked with uncertainty,
Leaving you is to reconcile better congregations.
Alluring and mesmerizes my inner senses,
Cheerful and gay,
Now that I've found you,
Again,
Being a part will not measure my lifetime,
Measure my falling and pain,
Gratitude,
You've never changed in my soul.
That beautiful mind-I cherished most.
Not words that fade
So say.. the unspoken
So lay... not be broken
So near.. In believing
So sad.. It bleeding
It takes time, so hey!!!
Lust For Life
The Grey Boy smokes too much. He also drinks too much. He doesn't want to spend RM200 on a pair of good black leather shoes but will spend that amount and more to smoke. He used to ride on a motorbike when he could have afforded a car. He is now driving a car but he could afford better. Yet he does not.
These days the Grey Boy said that he is trying to be a vegetarian. Avoid meat where possible and when not possible (like when mother cooks delicious food and pours into his plate) he obliges by munching on the occasional piece of animal. The Grey Boy said that he was attempting to train his body to live modestly. Not to be in want or need. He eats just to fill his stomach and not to fulfill his greed. He eats to remind himself that he just need to ensure his stomach is not hungry. He doesn't need to fill it up with abalone or shrimps or lobster or chicken cordon bleu. He could eat rice and a portion of vegetable and feel satisfied.
When one thinks about the Grey Boy, the pertinent question is "Why is the Grey Boy doing all of this? What is he trying to achieve?". PY asked the same. I don't really know why the Grey Boyo does so. Maybe he wants to restrict his lifestyle and control his lust, desires and wants. Maybe he does all this and end up dreaming beautiful things and birth the most precious art.
Three Nyonyas and Frangipani,
~ Putty on wood, work in progress, 2005.
Waking Up In Beijing
Waking Up In Beijing
~ The Grey Boy, 2005The Grey Boy habors a love for a girl that was his for a very short time. Even his poems are of him, a ran over frog trembling in pain.
I have scolded him. I have nagged him. I have done all I could. I do not like her because she has given my friend such amount of despair and pain. Of course he would sulk and we would not talk for some minutes, sometimes for days.
Whenever I ask him, he would say that she was the best thing that has happened to him. That he did not deserve her love or her attention. Yet in the same conversation, all I hear is how she has broken up with yet another boyfriend and found another boyfriend who drives a bigger, more expensive car.
Perhaps the Grey Boy feels that she is so precious and that she deserves much more in life that the Grey Boy and his Kenari.
How does that make me feel? That I am cheap and stupid because I spend time with him on weekends? That I am not good enough, like J? Personally I do not have respect for a person who causes a person that much misery. Perhaps I should tell the Grey Boy not to tell me about how she was so smart and beautiful and found another boy with another big car.
Read the poems he has written about the trembling frog and see how he view his relationship with the girl... him, as the ran over frog and the Merc and Bmer driving away at a fast pace.
Do I feel sad for my friend, the Grey Frog? Of course I do. Then again, I realised that perhaps he needs to torture himself before he can produce all those artwork that he so beautifully create. Perhaps it is all in his mind and there is no frog, no Merc, no Bmer, just the Grey Frog in a monologue.
