Grey Boy With A Leap

Hey!!!: 7th Life - Grey Boy

2006-05-10T20:53:00.000-07:00

Hey!!! (7th Life, Grey Boy)

Date: 10th May 2006 (My Favourite Smoking Day)

Emotions,

Vivid and clear,

Delivering vulnerable touches,

So near yet distance,

My journey don't end at spoken words,

It takes time.

Hey!!!

Sun shines, rain pouring

For a reason

For thoughts that matter

For treason

Hey!!!

Throughout the years

Dumbness equals numbness,

Never ask God for anything,

For the thoughts that count,

Not merely words that fade. Not words that fade

Emotions,

One day senseless and motionless,

My mind will continue ticking,

Creating peace and comfort,

Creating surety and concern for you,

My path is not bloated by desires for all things great,

For,

You are the greatest being ever come to my life.

Hey!!!

My ability's not to possess you,

But require,

All substance and deep faith I have with your existence

When I hold love, my hands leaked with uncertainty,

Leaving you is to reconcile better congregations.

Alluring and mesmerizes my inner senses,

Cheerful and gay,

Now that I've found you,

Again,

Being a part will not measure my lifetime,

Measure my falling and pain,

Gratitude,

You've never changed in my soul.

That beautiful mind-I cherished most.

Not words that fade

So say.. the unspoken

So lay... not be broken

So near.. In believing

So sad.. It bleeding

It takes time, so hey!!!

Rainy Days and Mondays

2006-05-08T02:44:00.000-07:00

Rainy Days and Mondays
~ The Grey Boy, 2005

A Pot Of Hot Mot: 3rd Life - Unknown

2006-05-05T20:48:00.000-07:00

A Pot of Hot Mot (3rd Life, Unknown)

Date: 5th May 2006 (Moody Day)

I have this pain

You say 'Aarrrgh!"

Whatâ€™s wrong this is?

I told you before "It's only your fault"

Time flies, time don't matter

"With too much to think" you grinned

You think so

I was screaming inside

But was silent outside

You say :depression hit me"

I denied definitely

Trust me, I beg you

I was never easy to express

I am the one losing consciousness

The pain, the pain, the vain

You have more consciousness than me?

I am mad at you

"Why are you mad at me" you yelled

Change your brain, change your mind, and change yourself

Change change change change and change

Easy for you to say

You wore this hat of pain

You swan in the lake of grief

You put yourself into this routine

"I hate you" not the first time I tell you

"Please do, please do, please do," you cited without hesitation

I do not need you

This is agony but you ask for me

You cried, "Remove your spell"

Cold as ice, in your eyes

"Who am I to you?"

"Put me down now!"

*I put the mirror down*

Play = "In the Mirror" by Kiss

Lust For Life

2006-05-04T07:54:00.000-07:00

The Grey Boy smokes too much. He also drinks too much. He doesn't want to spend RM200 on a pair of good black leather shoes but will spend that amount and more to smoke. He used to ride on a motorbike when he could have afforded a car. He is now driving a car but he could afford better. Yet he does not.

These days the Grey Boy said that he is trying to be a vegetarian. Avoid meat where possible and when not possible (like when mother cooks delicious food and pours into his plate) he obliges by munching on the occasional piece of animal. The Grey Boy said that he was attempting to train his body to live modestly. Not to be in want or need. He eats just to fill his stomach and not to fulfill his greed. He eats to remind himself that he just need to ensure his stomach is not hungry. He doesn't need to fill it up with abalone or shrimps or lobster or chicken cordon bleu. He could eat rice and a portion of vegetable and feel satisfied.

When one thinks about the Grey Boy, the pertinent question is "Why is the Grey Boy doing all of this? What is he trying to achieve?". PY asked the same. I don't really know why the Grey Boyo does so. Maybe he wants to restrict his lifestyle and control his lust, desires and wants. Maybe he does all this and end up dreaming beautiful things and birth the most precious art.

Three Nyonyas and Frangipani,
~ Putty on wood, work in progress, 2005.

Waking Up In Beijing

2006-05-03T02:30:00.000-07:00

Waking Up In Beijing
~ The Grey Boy, 2005

The Grey Boy habors a love for a girl that was his for a very short time. Even his poems are of him, a ran over frog trembling in pain.

I have scolded him. I have nagged him. I have done all I could. I do not like her because she has given my friend such amount of despair and pain. Of course he would sulk and we would not talk for some minutes, sometimes for days.

Whenever I ask him, he would say that she was the best thing that has happened to him. That he did not deserve her love or her attention. Yet in the same conversation, all I hear is how she has broken up with yet another boyfriend and found another boyfriend who drives a bigger, more expensive car.

Perhaps the Grey Boy feels that she is so precious and that she deserves much more in life that the Grey Boy and his Kenari.

How does that make me feel? That I am cheap and stupid because I spend time with him on weekends? That I am not good enough, like J? Personally I do not have respect for a person who causes a person that much misery. Perhaps I should tell the Grey Boy not to tell me about how she was so smart and beautiful and found another boy with another big car.

Read the poems he has written about the trembling frog and see how he view his relationship with the girl... him, as the ran over frog and the Merc and Bmer driving away at a fast pace.

Do I feel sad for my friend, the Grey Frog? Of course I do. Then again, I realised that perhaps he needs to torture himself before he can produce all those artwork that he so beautifully create. Perhaps it is all in his mind and there is no frog, no Merc, no Bmer, just the Grey Frog in a monologue.

Wish You Were Here

2006-05-02T18:57:00.000-07:00

Wish You Were Here,
~ Cambodia

2nd Life - Trembled Green Frog

2006-05-01T09:26:00.000-07:00

(2nd Life, Trembled Green Frog)
Date: 1st May 2006 (Labor Day)

My hands trembled

My trembled fingers turn cold

I can hardly feel my body

Seeing my body crumbled

Pointless living

The road filled with dirt

Like they always do

It stained me

It's me that's who

I can't move no more

I am small

You are bigger

Make out of steel

Strong as ever

Insignificant me

I can't help but weep

Too late indeed

A sight of horror

A stench of raw meat

That's me, or not

It's okay you couldn't avoid

Its must be a tough for you

I forgive you

Look at me now

Look at you with your cigar

The day I die

Regret or not

I don't know

This rubber tyre has no eyes

When you ran over me with your Merz!

The last of me

Sporty bright spotlight

It sting my eyes

Caught a glimpse of a B-mer!

Dare of you naming me the cold blooded amphibian!

Days in Cambodia

2006-04-30T20:37:00.000-07:00

When I first met the Grey Boy, he was often melancholic and under appreciating himself. He missed and loved J very much and most of our conversation revolved around this girl that the Grey Boy loves and I have never seen.

While I was away in the UK, he went for a 4 month backpacking trip and when I was back to see the Grey Boy months later, he was like a new person. Alive, smiling and more responsive to conversations. A whole less vodka and smoking could have done him some good apparently.

This is a photo the Grey Boy took in Cambodia.

8th Life - Grey Boy

2006-04-29T01:07:00.000-07:00

R once requested that I write the greatest love story. We were having dinner somewhere, after a whole day spent lazing in his bedroom painting and listening to yet another melancholic tune.

I was his therapist. He was my MiniBoyFriend.

Today is one of those rare days (or nights) when R is showing a great creative urge of almost manic intensity. On this very special night, when he has spent it thinking, drinking and smoking too much, R created a whole persona for himself and called himself the Grey Boy. Quite an ingenius name, I'd say. I would not have thought of it.

So the Grey Boy is sitting somewhere in Puchong, with his glasses almost at the end of his nose, scrapping and applying putty on yet another white wooden board. Like Van Gogh totally obsessed and absorbed in his little world. He has sent shit load of files to me, asking me to upload the stuff for him while he continues his flow of creativity.

Here is the first of the Grey Boy's poems.

(8th Life, Greyboy)
Date: 29 April 2006 (Day 1, The Interminable day)

I choose to live this silly life

I love to see

With my third eye in which it's blind

I love to touch with my amputated limb

I live to speak

In harmony, this poison, this maw cursed with lies

The divinity of God, which gave me the innocence

Only to put me into an infant suit

Only to be polluted in later life

Erasing my memory, all together

Thank God it's painless throughout meaningless

I could be a frog (trembled frog) in my previous life

An insect, less a human, lesser sin

You see me

Today I am going to die

Ending this

Can't wait to greet my new innocence

I choose to live this silly life

Ohh silly me!

Silly me

Nude Muse And The Grey Boy

2006-04-28T06:43:00.000-07:00

The following was the conversation with R on Yahoo! Messenger last night.

R: I very stress!

Otto: It's called horny. You need a shag.

R: I don't need a shag!

Otto: Yes, you do.

R: Why do you say that?

Otto: Do you like big tits?

R: Can I ask you a question?

Otto: Sure. Feel relaxed and open to questions.

R: Do you have big breasts?

Otto: ........

*seconds later*

Otto: I don't have big breasts!!!! *wails*

R: Then I don't like big tits.

Otto: .............

*seconds later*

Otto: You mean you like my breasts?

R: Sorry.

Otto: Actually I quite like my tits too *smirks*

R: .......................

Otto: I thought you like big tits because all your nudes have HUGE tits! Read: Redness Messiah.

R: I like small, fill my hands up type.

Otto: But you always draw them dangling with elephant sized nipples.

R: Long nipples sell.

Otto: ................

Readers: Go check out The Redness Messiah and you will know what I mean about R's penchant for long nipples and subconciously yearns for big breasts.

Yellow Moon
~ Putty on wood, Work in progress.

So this is the relationship between the muse and the artist. R paints and Otto appreciates R's paintings.

I used to be his muse. Maybe I am no longer. Perhaps I was never. It does not really matter, just as long as:

I inherit his paintings.

We continue to have great breakfasts together.

Perhaps spend a Sunday (like last) painting, watching arty movies, drinking vodka and talking about things that I cannot blog about.

REMINDER
My role in Grey Boy With A Leap
is merely uploading.
All paintings, photographs and poems
are the properties of R.

Hello And Welcome

2006-04-27T03:41:00.000-07:00

This blog is started at R's request. He is suffering from an excruciating headache and the mood swing of an artist at the moment. He wants some loving and as his MiniGirlFriend, I am obligated to make him feel loved.

"Grey Boy With A Leap"
is all about R
and his eccentricities.

.
.
.
.

Oh, and his gift for painting.

Please give a warm welcome to the life of R.

grey-boy.blogspot.com will feature R's numerous paintings, photographs and poems. R's always good with poems...

I have discussed the issue of privacy and anonymity. Apparently he is even more private than me. Such a diva, before even his blog begins. Temperamental artist! Ppppfffffhhhh!!!

By the end of the discussion, it was agreed that:

R is moody aka horny.

I have the honor of posting all R's stuff for him.

Reaffirmed that I will inherit all his paintings because I love every single one of them *rejoices*

Everything on grey-boy.blogspot.com is solely R's work...

Let's start with R's first completed painting.

The Redness Messiah
~ Arcylic on wood, 2004